Here We Go (Again)

March 16, 2009

Mary and I are up before the sun, preparing for another long drive to Indy. Pre-op arrival time is 10:30; surgery is at 12:30; they tell us we’ll be home in time for dinner. I am hopeful. For reasons too lengthy and complicated to explain at this early hour, I am headed back to the same surgeon. I’m giving him the chance to correct his error. I trust his technical ability 100 percent. I believe his error was one of oversight. With his reputation on the line,  I know he’ll bring his A-game (too bad he didn’t bring it the first time).

These past few days have been a blur. I found a new therapist; I call her my “cancer shrink.” She helped me to diffuse my emotions–a good thing. I visited family and friends in Louisville and gained much strength from their love. And I read, re-read, and deeply appreciated every email and blog post. Thank you all for feeling angry, sad, and frustrated for me. While, I am still all of those things, I did find a place of emotional equilibrium to usher me through today–or at least to the doors of the operating room.

Meanwhile, Mary’s got my back. For those of you who don’t know Mary, she is amazing. (So much so that she deserves her own post, which is on its way.) But, for now, just know that even with her crazy-making academic career, Mary has been by my side at every appointment, held my hand through every procedure, and asked the tough questions when I was overwhelmed.

Since today’s questions are tougher than ever, we’ve called in reinforcements. Our generous, smart, fearless  friend, Z, is coming along to support Mary in her quest for answers. The three of us motoring up to Indy to kick ass and take names is quite the picture.

Wish us luck!